Lost and Insecure....You Found Me

Last night I was awoken by my TV blaring in my earslike a jet engine hovering above. I remembered going to bed with the TV turned off so i could shuffle through my thoughts and fall sound asleep like a baby. But no. It was around 3 am and my TV just blasted some VH1 at me. VH1 is usually the station of choice when im relaxing in bedroom reading or writing. Unlike MTV they actually broadcast good music (see John Mayer and The Fray).

Anyways just stumbling around looking for the remote which was hidden under the darkness of my bedroom i caught a listen of the song pacing through the airwaves of my slumber. The song was "You Found Me" by The Fray. I myself am quite a closet "The Fray" fan. Their melodies are intense and vocal harmonies are quite complimentary by the piano. Anyway as i was catching a listen a line flashed through my mind from this song.

"I Found God, On The Corner of 1st and Amistad. I Said "Where Have You Been."

I proceded to turn my set off and fall back into my dreams but as I awoke this morning I thought of this line over and over. Where is god? Where has he been?

I myself am not a stickler for religous deabtes and conversation because I just feel growing up I shouldn't even give my opinion on christ or religon because im not a normal church goer. Ive gone years without going but that is my own fault. I do blame myself. I can't take it back but if I could i would probably choose to attend church more often.

Still like many other people in our sad state of our country I also find myself asking "God, Where have you been?" Where were you when we lost our loved ones? Where were you when the towers fell and the Levees broke? People cant start resorting to asking were God is through our lives. I guess im just opening my thoughts too much and overthinking stuff. But this is my blog. But seriously.

God, Where have you been?

-Nick

Tampa Sunsets...Oh How i Wish

Its 9:05am. Im sitting in this uncomfortable computer chair in this 20 degree weather. Can someone please tell me why i am in complete unenjoyment of the current life I am in the lead of?

Im not going to just whine and complain about everything like a six year old Its just as life takes it's just as life takes it's turns it makes me wonder.

2 Months ago I told myself i was going to take a personal week and fly down to Tampa to be with my grandparents. Most people flee at the sight of their elders but not I, for i have grown to become so close to them for all of my life. While I was there in the nice warm sea breeze air I had come to the sudden realization of what i wanted to pursue. As the current weeks pass I keep asking to myself why cant I just go far away. One of my biggest regrets so far was probably not going away for schooling.

Since my visit in all levels of respect to my friends and family here I have wanted to go back and attend school there. Who knows what the future may bring...

I hope its in my cards...

-Nick

Sleep And The Effects (For ENG)

Intro:

Everyday people become more and more concerned with their health and well being. One of the most important factors of health and the human body is sleep. Without sleep you are not the same person you would be as a healthy normal person. Without at least 5 hours of sleep I myself feel unhappy and just all around uncomfortable. Without proper sleep the way your body functions can change and become irregular. You have more of a chance to get a sickness or illness when you do not sleep than when you are sleeping regularly and on time. Many people think that they can get much more work done or experience life more if they are up late or out late doing things rather than sleeping. I completely disagree because of the fact that sure you will be happy that you are out late and getting more done but in the long run you will not benefit because you can get sick or you will not be in tip top shape all because of your loss of sleep. All in all sleeping is probably one of the most important things to the human body. Without it the human body can cease to function the way that it needs too.

Sleep:

As days pass in america the more and more people become obsessed with their work and how they can fit much into a schedule. Many items are being developed¹ to stop the everyday person from getting to bed on time or get them to sleep. The human body needs its sleep to function.² One item people look to to help them when they are drowsy is caffeine. The effects of caffeine on the human body can be both harsh and good³. Caffeine can aid the body in waking it up if you are feeling drowsy or fatigued but what must be kept in mind is that caffeine is a drug and can become addicting. The over consumption of caffeine can also cause weight gain in the long run. Another problem with not getting enough sleep is the abilty to contract viruses and illness much more quicker and easier than a healthy person.⁴ It would be safe to say that the more sleep you get the healthier person you will be. Sleep should not only be considered with adults but it is most important to young adults specificly college students⁵. I myself can completely agree with that because me being a college student and without sleep i tend to not finish assignments not be able to make class on time or not study well for tests. What can be said about sleep is that it is more important to the human body than most people know. Getting your hours is more important than being out late or just not sleeping.

Ref.

1)Energy drinks such as Red Bull, AMP and, Monster can keep you awake and also contain harmful chemicals for your body and heart.

2)Without sleep the human body becomes weaker and begins to breakdown.

3)Caffeine can awaken you in times of fatigue but it can also aid to weight gain and sickness.

4)Without sleep you can contract viruses and become more susceptible to the common cold and other illnesses.

5)Without sleep the human mind can not function, remembering things becomes tougher and tougher.

7 Years ago...

It was June, I was in intermediate school and had no care in the world for nothing or anyone. Normal teen angst as i had just become a teenager and i had no clue what to do with my life. My grades were bad, I missed school frequently. I died my hair different colors. I lost my hero. It just came to the point where nothing mattered anymore.

My escape as a child was always music. I can remember past to days spent in the back of my fathers Trail Blazer listening to the likes of Metallica or Rush, Music was always there. When i was even younger I used to always remember going up to Boston to be with my extended family and my cousin Marco would always play bass when he was just sitting around. I never got around to it. Although it looked cool I just didn't if it was what I wanted to do.

It was in seventh grade when i started becoming more of a critical listener to music actually picking apart songs and listening to different parts. I still had no clue if I wanted to play music at all. Around November a letter came in the mail about my acceptance to a prestigious school on Staten Island. In short my family was excited however i wasn't, Little did i know those would be the greatest times of my life. 

I signify 7 years ago as the start of the most exciting times of my life. As a gift for my birthday and being accepted to the school my mom bought me a pair of tickets to see Blink 182 preform at the PNC Bank Arts Center in New Jersey. The concert was on the last day of school which was nearing closer and closer.

When the day finally came and I was at the concert watching the band take stage you could say i was star struck or in awe but there was one thing i saw. Mark Hoppus the bassist and vocalist took the stage in his Chuck Taylor's and pink signature bass and just said one word....Fuck. He went on to joke about farts. Sing about girls. From that moment watching him command the crowd and start to play with the band made me realize one thing. Thats what I want to be doing in the next ten years...

Time Past.

www.myspace.com/thisiscobaltsky

Thats what there is to show for it....

-Nick

Its A Breakdown...

The winding thoughts paced through my small mind today as I sat back behind my piano to write. Most of my writing gets done here in my head because I just feel like i have such inspiration behind it. I looked throughout my house to see no one home as usual, Just me and the dog. I looked down the hall only to be taken back by memories that have made their way down this hall like people. But the only thing i could think about was love in this hall.

People came and went but someone stays clear in my mind. Ive spent the days thinking about everything and anything and all loose ends just turn me to this person. My bestfriend. Now only seems to feel distant because of time away and just problems and mistakes. I always find myself repeating the phrase of importance "It all happends for a reason." over and over but sometimes i just wonder if that is even true any more.

Love can be the greatest or the worst feeling in your life. Love can rip you apart and it could sew you up in one sitting. People sometimes do things unimaginable when they are in love with someone. It just is a feeling that keeps giving and taking.

At one moment it can take everything away for an extended period and just make you realize everything in front of you. Make you wonder what happend and where am i going. One person can change your outlook on life in 3 simple words. I love you.

Many people can encounter love in such different ways. Some people are attracted to the physical love of lust and sex. In my way I feel love by just being with someone i care about. Driving for hours just talking or talking a walk and telling secrets. running around in circles laughing at one another but still having a great time. Laying on a trampoline and watching the shooting stars fly by. Its all different for everyone.

But... when its all said and done you always find yourself asking the same question over and over..

"Where do we go from here?"

-Nick

Dark Blue

The house is pretty empty this evening. Just me and the dog. Mom is away in Brooklyn with the boyfriend and my sister and im happy i get this alone time to pretty much reflect on everything. As I sit I tend to over think and just over analyze. However, this time I have come at rest with myself and come at peace.

As the snow falls i see the illuminating cross from across my backyard. The cross of Msgr Farrell High School the school which I had attended as well as my father and cousins. I caught myself in a trance gazing into the blue cross and it honestly made me realize how lucky i was as a person in this small world. 

The school is a prestigious one at best. An all boys private school located near one of the wealthiest neighborhoods on Staten Island. Getting in to the school was one thing but attending and lasting through all four years was something reveled by many. The school breeds success and I had a part of it. I took the time in my trance to appreciate what was given to me. 

"I Wish I Knew Then What I Know Now"

-Nick

This is My Life For Hire

Last night at around 9:30 I sat in my car as traffic whizzed past me listening to a new album by my favorite band A Day To Remember. The music this band makes really gets to me on a personal level because i feel i can relate to many of the lyrics about being lied to, cheated, and deserted. As i sat and pondered the lyrics of a new song titled "My Life For Hire" passed through my stereo speakers. 

"Somebody Give Me A Sign... That Everything Is Going As Planned." I sat back and started the song again to clearly make out primary lyricist Jeremy Mckinnon's vocal harmony over the thick chug of dropped tuned guitars and double bass drum patterns. Once i heard the line i could only relate to my previous thoughts on how my life was moving. 

Dealing with death, heartbreak and love in life you always sit back and wonder if everything is going to be ok.Most people say "It All Happens For A Reason!" I do truly believe in that statement but what reason does it all happen for I ask. 

As the lyrics passed through the airwaves i analyzed even more. The lyrics to me give presence that as singing these words we don't know where live will take us and what will happen. We don't even know if this is how its even supposed to be. Life is a battle ground. We just need signals to show us the reason for which everything is happening for.

-Nick